Identifying Values, Beliefs and Drivers: Step 3 of the 7 Step Plan

This blog is a continuation of a 7-part series that sets out a “Step by Step” plan to discover what really matters in your life and to set you off on a path to “live your life on purpose”. The overall outline of the 7 Step Plan, Step 1 and Step 2 have been covered in earlier blogs. This blog focuses on Step 3.

---

Jared was the eldest of a family with three boys. His father worked long hours so that he could pay for his sons to get a good education. His younger brother had a chronic illness and Jared had helped his mother to care for the younger children. As Jared studied for exams his father would say “no pain no gain”. When Jared achieved 90% on his test results, his father would ask him jokingly “what happened to the 10%?”. Jared’s mother told him that it was important to “keep his promises” and “not to be a burden” given that she needed to care for his younger brothers. She also relied on him to help her look after his brothers.

As an adult, Jared had developed a habit where, at work, if there was an “easier” or “harder” route to achieve an objective, he would choose the “hard” way. He was always looking for ways to improve his and his team’s performance. He was known as someone who always met his deadlines. However, he had a tendency to take on more projects than he could handle, and then work extremely long hours to deliver on time. On the weekends he found it difficult to relax and spend “downtime” with the family.

Under Step 1 of the “Living Life on Purpose” plan, Jared explored his childhood and identified the patterns that had influenced his life to date. This was done using the “Telling your Life Story” exercise.

Under Step 2 (Embracing your Strengths), Jared had recognised that he had Responsibility and Achiever in his Top 5 strengths. This meant that Jared had a natural talent and gained energy from being trusted to deliver on his promises (Responsibility). He also set himself challenging targets and milestones and worked diligently with perseverance to accomplish his goals (Achiever).

The next step (Step 3) was to look at Jared’s values, beliefs and drivers. Jared did an exercise where he reviewed lists of values and then sifted these to identify his top 3 values. For him, these were “hard work”, “reliable”, and “perfection”. He believed in “taking care of his family” and “keeping promises”.

In terms of drivers, Jared assessed Taibi Kahler’s list of five “personality drivers”. (http://changingminds.org/explanations/motivation/kahler_drivers/kahlers_drivers.htm)

For Jared his dominant driver was “Be Perfect” followed closely by “Be Strong”. This meant that, under stress, Jared was likely to be dissatisfied with his (and his team’s) achievements, always wanting more. He also had tendency not to ask for help from others taking everything on his own shoulders.

When looking at the outcomes from Steps 1 to 3, clear themes emerged. Jared’s strengths, values, beliefs and drivers, when managed mindfully led to the dependable, hard working and productive work colleague that Jared was known to be. However, if Jared did not consciously manage these factors he could; be unreasonably demanding of his team; over-commit to projects; be ineffective in delegation when deadlines were looming and be “absent” to his family. He identified “taking care” of his family as providing for them financially rather than providing “emotional support” and “being present”.

As a result of raising awareness of the benefits and potential downsides of Jared’s strengths, values, beliefs and drivers, Jared was able to make conscious and potentially different choices about how to become “his best self” rather than letting those factors control him and limit his effectiveness and fulfilment. He learned that; it was “responsible” to consider whether he had the time and resources to deliver on a project before committing to it; that it was best to be “good enough” rather than perfect on his deliverables; that his family wanted him to spend “quality time” with them.

Identify your own key values, beliefs and drivers.

1) Identify your own top 3 Values (principles / standards of behaviour that you believe to be very important in life)

2) Identify your Beliefs (that lie behind your values)

3) Identify your Drivers form Khaler’s list of personality drivers

4) What clear themes have you identified when comparing your strengths and Values, Beliefs and Drivers?

Next time we will explore Step 4 of the “Living Life on Purpose” plan. This step consolidates all the learnings from Steps 1 to 3 into a “personal User Manual”.

---

If you would like to learn more about strengths-based coaching or the 7 Step Plan to Living Life on Purpose contact me on ad@annemariedurbin.com or visit www.annemariedurbin.com